Making Room
A few weeks ago, I read something that has stuck with me. This person was relating a story about “having room for a particular person to disappoint them”. The whole concept struck me as beautiful, gracious and much of what I experience when I am able to tap into God’s love.
Last week we had an unfortunate incident. Someone took advantage of a kindness and ended up causing great emotional and financial turmoil for us. It was awful.
In the moment I was very calm and understanding and at peace. But later I began to become hurt and angry. I felt taken advantage of on multiple levels. I wanted to defend myself, explain myself, and get what I deserved for having to go through such an unsavory experience.
However… because of God’s grace in my life, and that sentence that had stayed with me… having room for someone to disappoint me… I was able to pause when I caught myself heading in the direction of resentment, defensiveness, and anger. I paused and prayed with Rick. We prayed for the people, for ourselves, and for the whole situation. In the end, I learned some valuable things about myself, and I was able to let go of my fight.
I allowed the disappointment to come. And to have room for it. It didn’t devastate me, it didn’t cause me to want to continue fighting for my rights. It made me sad, but ultimately I was proud of myself for extending a kindness, for believing the best, and for trying to show love in the way I could. It gave me empathy and compassion for the other party.
Sunday morning during worship, I wept as I let go even more. If I get nothing in return, no acknowledgement of what we went through, I knew I would be okay. I told Rick I felt like my Father was asking me to be the bigger person in the situation and give understanding and grace to those I felt had wronged us. For a minute, I thought… “But what about me? Who is going to stick up for me?” That moment passed as I became very aware of the goodness of my Father. He will care for us. He will understand. He will give us and provide for us what we need in this particular situation.
In the end, I was reminded: we are alive, we are healthy, we have each other. The whole situation could’ve been much worse. But today we move forward with love and grace. Even towards those who wronged us. The inner turmoil is gone, a sweet rest has replaced my rehearsal of wrongs done.
There is such freedom in knowing I have room for others to disappoint me, to misunderstand me, to forget about me, to let me down. I still feel the disappointment, but it doesn’t take me down. In fact, in reminds me of who I do rely on and how big and how important His love to me is. This is the grace of God working in me.
May you have a wonderful day and experience the freedom that comes from being able to rely on a good, good Father.