Just Keep Breathing

I was 47 years old when I got married. Shortly after our wedding, I remember a friend asked me if it was strange having someone around all the time after being single for so long. I didn’t hesitate – Nope, not at all. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. Like “hand-in-glove.” But it got me to thinking… I was loving being married, but what about Rick?

He had been happily married to Teresa for 33 years. She was beautiful and kind and loving. So I asked him, “Is there anything I could be doing to be a better wife to you? I am loving being married to you but perhaps there are things I don’t see/know that from experience you do?”

I wasn’t too proud to take suggestions. I just wanted to be the best wife I could to him. Here is what he said: “Just keep breathing. Be who you are. I did not fall in love with a future version of you. I love you just as you are, flaws and all.” I remember a feeling of rest coming over me. I could keep breathing. I could be myself. From that moment on, I did not worry about being a good wife or about saying/doing all the right things.

The funny thing is that I think I have become a better wife. But it hasn’t come from trying to, it’s come from knowing he loves all of me and resting in that love. I didn’t stop caring about what he thought, I was inspired to love better because of how he loved me. I think this is how it is with Jesus.

When we realize the depth of his love for us right now (not a future version of ourselves), we can actually bloom from where we are at. His purpose isn’t to try to change us into better people. It is to be with us, fully accepting us and loving us. In that process, a beautiful transformation cannot help but happen:-)